How to Say and Ask About Names From Other Cultures

A name is the first thing someone tells you about themselves, and getting it right is one of the easiest ways to make a good first impression. It's also one of the places where cultures differ the most. Here's what's useful to know.

Ask, then listen

If you're unsure how to say someone's name, ask. "How do you pronounce your name?" is a perfectly normal question, and most people are pleased you want to get it right. It's far better than quietly avoiding it or guessing wrong for weeks.

Then repeat it back once, and don't be shy about the sound. If you want to remember it, write it down the way it sounds to you, not the way it's spelled.

Which part is the surname?

Name order is not the same everywhere:

• In Japan, China, Korea, and also Hungary, the family name usually comes first. In Japan, someone introduced as Tanaka Yuki is Ms Tanaka, and Yuki is her given name.
• In Spain and many Latin American countries, people have two surnames, the first from their father and the second from their mother. Someone might be José García López, and you'd normally call them García, or just José.
• In Iceland, most people don't have a family name at all. Their surname is based on their father's (or mother's) first name, like Jónsdóttir, "Jón's daughter". Even in official lists, Icelanders are usually sorted by first name.

What should you call them?

The safest question is: "What should I call you?" It covers all the traps. Some people prefer a short form or a nickname, and some people adopt a different name entirely in international settings, such as an English one, because it's easier for others. That's their choice, not a sign they dislike their real name.

Keep the accents

Letters with accents or special marks, like ł, é, ñ or ö, aren't decoration. They change how the name sounds and sometimes what it is. If you can type them, do. If you can't, a plain version is fine, but if someone corrects you, thank them and fix it. It's a small effort that people notice.

Don't make a fuss, and don't give up

A tricky name isn't a reason to joke about it. Comments like "that's so hard to say" can sound dismissive, especially if the person has heard them a hundred times. Say you want to learn it and try again.

Most people are patient when they can tell you're making an honest attempt. Many even have a favourite story about their name, and it's a lovely way to start a conversation.

If you need more ideas for what to ask next, try these 50 questions to ask someone from another country.