50 Questions to Ask Someone From Another Country

You matched with someone on the other side of the world. They said hi. You said hi back. And now you are both staring at a blinking cursor.

That silence is normal, and it is almost never about having nothing to say. It is about not knowing which door to open first. "Where are you from?" is the door everybody opens. It is fine, but it gets you a one-word answer and the same question back, and then the silence returns.

The questions below are built to do more than that. They are easy to answer in a second language, they invite a small story instead of a yes or no, and none of them require you to know anything about the other person's country. Use them as they are, or treat them as a pattern for your own.

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What's the most ordinary thing in your day that a visitor would find strange?

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Why "Where are you from?" stalls

It is a closed question with a factual answer. The person says "Brazil," you say "Nice," and you are back at the start. It also quietly turns them into a spokesperson for a whole country, which is a lot to ask in the first minute.

Questions about a person's day work better, because everyone is an expert on their own day. What are they eating, what is the weather doing, what did they not plan to do today? Those answers come easily, and they carry more of a real person than a country name does.

How to use these questions

A few habits make the difference between a question that lands and one that feels like a form.

• Answer it yourself. Send your own answer with the question, or right after theirs. It turns an interview into a trade.
• One question at a time. Two questions in one message means the second one gets ignored.
• Keep sentences short. If either of you is writing in a second language, or using a translator, short sentences survive far better.
• Follow up on one detail. If they say they are drinking tea at midnight, ask what kind. That second question is where the conversation begins.

Light questions to open with

1. What time is it where you are, and what are you doing with it?
2. What are you eating or drinking right now?
3. What is the weather like today?
4. What song has been stuck in your head this week?
5. What is the best thing you ate recently?
6. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
7. What is on your screen right now besides this chat?
8. What did you do today that you did not plan to do?
9. What is a small thing that made you smile today?
10. Do you have a pet, or wish you did?
11. What is your favourite season, and why?
12. What was the last thing you watched that you would recommend?
13. What is your go-to comfort food?
14. How do you usually get around your city?
15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Questions about everyday life

These are good once you have traded a few messages. They are curious without being personal, and they teach you something about where the other person lives.

1. What does a normal Sunday look like where you live?
2. What food from your country should a visitor try first?
3. What word in your language should I learn first?
4. What do people in your country do that would surprise a visitor?
5. What holiday do you look forward to all year?
6. What does a typical breakfast look like for you?
7. How do people greet each other where you live: a handshake, a hug, a bow?
8. What is the most popular sport or hobby near you?
9. What is the most ordinary thing in your day that a foreigner might find strange?
10. Which school subject did you actually enjoy?
11. What is the best place to eat in your town, and what do you order?
12. What do you do to relax after work or school?
13. Is there a local saying you use all the time?
14. What is the most beautiful place you can reach in an hour?
15. What do you wish more people knew about where you live?

Question 24 is the quiet star of this list. People love explaining the things they have stopped noticing, and the answers are often the best part of the chat.

Questions that go a little deeper

Save these for when the conversation is already warm. If the other person answers in one line, don't push. Offer your own answer and let them decide how far to go.

1. What is something you have changed your mind about in the last few years?
2. What did you want to be when you were ten?
3. Who taught you the most about how to treat people?
4. Where do you feel most like yourself?
5. What is a family tradition you would like to keep forever?
6. What are you learning right now?
7. What is the best advice you have ever received?
8. What do you miss about being a kid?
9. What is a place you have never been but feel connected to?
10. What are you looking forward to this month?

Playful questions

When a chat needs energy, or when you both run out of serious things to say, go silly. Humour travels better than you might expect, as long as it is gentle.

1. If you could teleport anywhere for lunch today, where would you go?
2. What is a completely useless talent you have?
3. Pineapple on pizza: crime or genius?
4. What is the strangest food you have ever tried?
5. If you could instantly speak one more language, which one would you pick?
6. What would be the title of your autobiography?
7. What is your go-to karaoke song?
8. Which animal would make the worst roommate?
9. What is the most useful phrase in your language for a tourist?
10. If you had a free afternoon and no obligations, how would you spend it?

Questions to hold back at the start

Some topics are not off limits, but they are better left to the other person to bring up. Politics, religion, money, age, relationship status and appearance all carry different weight in different places, and you cannot tell from the outside which ones are sensitive for this person. If they raise one, follow their lead and ask open, curious questions rather than arguing.

The same goes for questions that put someone on the spot about their country, such as asking them to defend a government or a stereotype. A gentler version is almost always available: ask about their daily life instead.

A note on translation

If you are chatting through a translation tool, a few small choices help a lot. Avoid sarcasm, idioms and wordplay. "It is raining cats and dogs" will arrive as something strange. Stick to plain, complete sentences.

If a reply looks rude or odd, assume the translation is at fault before you assume the person is. Ask again in simpler words. Most misunderstandings in translated chats are technical, not personal.

A note from us: HEYID is a new app, and we're still collecting stories from real conversations. If one of these questions worked well for you, tell us about it and we may share it here.

Keep it going

The best question is the one you actually want the answer to. Pick one from this list, send it with your own answer attached, and then read the reply properly. A real conversation is mostly listening, and that is true in every language.