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Chatting With Someone From India: What to Know
Chatting with someone from India? Learn why one language is never enough, which topics go well, how politeness works and what to avoid assuming.
India has more than 1.4 billion people, hundreds of languages and dialects, and a different food, climate and style of humor depending on where you go. So the first thing to know about chatting with someone from India is that you are not chatting with "India." You are chatting with one person, from one place, with their own story.
That said, a few things are useful to keep in mind. They will make the conversation smoother and help you avoid the most common assumptions.
There is no single Indian language
India's constitution recognizes 22 languages, and many more are spoken every day. Hindi is the most widely spoken and, together with English, is used at the national level. But a person from Chennai may speak Tamil at home, someone from Kolkata Bengali, someone from Mumbai Marathi, and someone from Hyderabad Telugu or Urdu.
So please do not assume Hindi. A better first question is "Which part of India are you from, and what language do you speak at home?" Most people enjoy answering it, and it tells you right away that you are interested in them.
Many Indians also speak English, often as a second or third language, and Indian English has its own flavor. You may see phrases like "do the needful" or "prepone," which means to move something earlier. They are perfectly normal there. Treat them as part of the charm, not as mistakes.
Some phrases you may meet in Indian English
Indian English has a small vocabulary of its own. These are not mistakes. They are standard usage there, and good to recognize.
- Do the needful: please take the necessary action.
- Prepone: to move something earlier, the opposite of postpone.
- Timepass: an activity you do just to pass the time.
- Out of station: traveling, away from home.
- Kindly revert: please reply to me.
If you meet one, you can simply answer the meaning. Asking "what does that mean?" with real curiosity is also welcome.
Topics that tend to go well
- Food. It varies hugely from region to region. Ask what they eat at home, what the specialty of their city is, and what a visitor should try. Do not assume everyone is vegetarian, or that everyone eats spicy food. Both vary a lot.
- Cricket. It is hugely popular. Ask whether they follow the game and which team they support. Even if you know nothing, "explain cricket to me" is a good request.
- Films and music. Bollywood is famous, but there are also big film industries in Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Bengali and other languages. Ask what they have watched lately.
- Festivals. Diwali, Holi, Eid, Pongal, Durga Puja, Onam and many more. Ask which one they look forward to, and how their family celebrates.
- Daily life. Chai or coffee, commutes, studies, work, the monsoon. Everyday questions work well.
- Travel inside India. People often love talking about their favorite places in their own country.
How politeness sounds
Many people in India are friendly and polite in writing, and you may see "sir" or "madam" used even between peers. It is a sign of respect, not a sign that someone feels beneath you. You may also see "ji" attached to a name, as in "Rahul ji," which adds respect and warmth. You do not need to use it yourself, but you can accept it with a smile.
Messaging apps, especially WhatsApp, are a huge part of everyday life in India, and sharing "good morning" pictures or short messages is common in some circles. If you receive one, a simple thank you and a greeting back is a kind reply.
Personal questions can also be asked more openly than you may be used to. Questions about family, age or work might come up early. Our guide on asking about age, salary or religion explains how to answer gracefully when you would rather not.
Things to avoid assuming
That everyone speaks Hindi. Covered, but it is the biggest one.
That everyone shares a religion or diet. India is home to many religions, and food habits differ from household to household. Ask, do not assume.
Stereotypes. Curry, call centers, Bollywood dance, poverty. All of these appear in jokes and movies, and none of them describes a person. Skip them and ask about the person instead.
Heavy topics early. Religion and politics can be sensitive, as they can anywhere. Let them come up naturally.
One time zone, with a twist
India uses a single time zone, India Standard Time, which is UTC+5:30. That half hour is the detail that trips people up when they work out the gap. India does not use daylight saving time, so the difference with Europe and North America changes twice a year, when your clocks change. Check the world clock, which includes Kolkata, or read the best time to chat across continents to find an hour that suits you both.
Five openers to borrow
- Which part of India are you from, and what is it like there?
- What is a dish from your city that I should try?
- Do you follow cricket, or are you more into films?
- Which festival do you enjoy the most, and why?
- What language do you speak at home, and what is one word I should learn?
Last thought
Ask about the person, not the country. India is too big and varied for any one description, and the best conversations begin when someone feels you are curious about their life instead of a summary of it.
